Elvis Has Left the Building: The story of my retirement (from my 9-5 job)
This is the sign I left on my office door as I exited for the last time. Grateful I never lost my sense of humor.I retired. And how does it feel? It feels liberating! Joyful! Exhilarating! But let’s rewind the story a bit.
I’m 54 years old. I was a graphic designer employed by the State of Texas for 25 years. For 15 of those years, I loved my job. I was proud of the work I did. I felt like I was making a difference and contributing to my state, my community, my people. I was part of a communications team that cared about distributing accurate and well-designed information about the services this agency provided to the public we served. We were a team that was professional in every way. We collaborated with other teams like the web team, photographers, videographers, writers, editors, attorneys, etc. We worked on traditional print, illustration, animation, front-facing interface for websites, design for educational curricula (print and interactive), and so much more. Our audiences were varied too. We designed for parents, children, teens, victims of crime, legislators and for in-house clients. It was never boring. It was challenging in the way that we were always learning something new . And we had SO. MUCH. FUN. After all, we were the creative ones. The playful ones. Other people in the agency envied us because we had colorful markers in our area. We constantly got snarky remarks like, “must be fun to play with markers and crayons all day and get paid for it.” And while, that’s not exactly what we did, we really were lucky to get to play with markers and crayons! Haha!!
But all great things come to an end. About ten years ago, there was a change in leadership. And the change trickled down to our creative team. The web team was dismantled. The photographers and videographers became islands (as in we didn’t have access to them anymore). We no longer collaborated with other teams. Out of necessity, we started using generic stock photography and graphics instead of original photos and illustrations. Our team went from a team of nine to a team of one. The new focus became print publications only. And while useful and necessary, working on print only projects can be pretty boring. Our work product was no longer appreciated or valued. For ten years and in different ways, I was constantly reminded how NOT valued my work was (and by extension, me). But I continued to be professional and produced the best print publications, because I still valued the service of providing information to the people of Texas. After a few years of a life-squashing job, I decided that as soon as I was eligible to retire, I would.
In the meantime, I started working on my own creativity. I learned how to do modern calligraphy and hand lettering. I practiced drawing and doodling by keeping sketch books. I started to paint with watercolor. I learned to create surface pattern designs with my doodles. I took workshops on how to become a creative entrepreneur. And in 2021, I started a creative business. (Read about it in blog post # five.) Doing these things helped fill the empty hole in my soul that had once been filled by my work at the agency.
There were days that I didn’t think I could wait until retirement. I realized I was part of a sinking ship. So I applied for other graphic design jobs. My portfolio work got me several interviews, but never the job. I started to get the message that at 46, I was too old to be hired. Employers were looking for “young blood” for their design teams. Perhaps they thought I wouldn’t be software savvy. But they were wrong. Though it didn’t matter. Their perception of a 46 year old designer was too hard to overcome. So I stayed at my life-sucking job because at retirement, I would have lifetime health insurance. And, as you can imagine, that is priceless.
Four years ago, in order to maintain my mental health, I started counting down to my retirement. I checked off every single day on my calendar. Two years ago, I began to prepare for my separation. I had many personal things to pack up in my office. So I slowly packed things and took them home. I organized digital files and templates in a way that anyone would be able to find or figure out how to find. I always kept impeccable records, and I continued that practice so that anyone would be able to figure out the history of any one single project. I also updated our operations manual so that the next generation would have an easy transition (without me). Despite disdain for leadership, I wanted my legacy to be one of not only talent for design, but also for professionalism and integrity.
On March 31, 2024, I became eligible for retirement. And guess what??!!! I retired!! YES. I. DID. My co-workers even threw me a little party. My work besties all showed up. And we all ate pizza together. I will miss seeing their faces every day.
It’s been two weeks. And I feel liberated. The sky is bluer. The air is easier to breathe. Food tastes better. The black hole in my soul is gone. It’s not like being on vacation at all, because I’m not worried about returning to a long list of emails, backed-up jobs, or problems to solve. I have so much peace in my soul that it’s hard to explain with words. I feel so good about how I left my job. And i’m so proud of all the publications we produced. I left everything in the best condition. I wanted to pay homage to the job I loved those first 15 years. I wanted to celebrate my extreme luck to have been a part of such a wonderful and talented team.
While the last ten years were difficult and many days were lonely, I don’t regret one minute of it, because for 25 years I consistently provided a service to the people of Texas. And as a parting gift to the state, my talents won them a print award from the National Association of Government Communicators for the children’s sticker calendar we printed yearly. Yes. I’m proud. Especially since it was one of my favorite projects every year. P.S. I received notification of the award from the agency post retirement.
And so this is the end of how and why I retired and how it feels. I will end this part of the story here. If you’re still here, thank you for reading until the end. You’ve done your good deed for the day.
Up next, I’ll address the other question I get... “Now what are you going to do?”
Stay tuned.